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I'm in my mid-40s now, and our relationship remains every bit as complicated today.As I have come to learn, most of those who grow up in a dysfunctional relationship are condemned to seek them out forevermore. In adulthood, I had become a rather complicated girlfriend, each relationship beginning well, but then growing fractured and ending badly.After a couple of months I had to end it – and it was after I had made this decision that my husband found out.

And so our long-nurtured virtual affair became real.

I ignored it until I could do so no longer, until eventually, for what felt like the sake of my sanity, I resolved to do something about it.

A late arrival into the world of social media, I nevertheless embraced it as a kind of escape.

He was young and beautiful and I couldn't believe that he wanted me.

From the very first meeting, the guilt racked through me.

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